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I've always worked at home, sometimes full time, sometimes only part time because I had a part time or full time job away from home. There's a biography of the great English cookbook writer Elizabeth David called Writing at the Kitchen Table. That would make a good title for my life, except it would have to be Writing at the Kitchen Table, Sewing at the Kitchen Table, Writing Computer Programs at the Kitchen Table, Drawing at the Kitchen Table, Eating at the Kitchen Table ... Et cetera. In my current house, the house I plan to die in, I have the luxury of a separate
workroom, and my husband has one too, but we often find ourselves back at the
kitchen table, each of us encroaching a little bit on the other's space, each of
us pushing the other's stuff a little out of the way. It's a peaceable,
companionable way to work. Many of the houses and apartments I've lived in have been cold, sometimes by my
choice, sometimes by somebody else's. I kept the thermostat in one house set to
55° — that's Fahrenheit, not Celsius. The stove in that house was forty years
old and not well made. If I had something in the oven, the whole kitchen got
warm, and I hung quilts on the doors to keep the warmth in. In the mid-1970s, under what now seems to me the influence of the Zeitgeist but
at the time felt like a novel and wholly autonomous impulse, I bought a house on
a third of an acre of land with established fruit trees (one apple, one pear,
one crabapple) and a hundred year old grapevine and set out to grow all my own
food. I had a list of ten items I allowed myself to buy at the grocery store
salt, milk, eggs, butter, olive oil, flour, cheese, sugar, dried beans, and
canned tuna. But I'd cheat from time to time by changing the list, swapping
chocolate in for cheese, or rice for dried beans. In truth the list was more
like 25 things, but still not long. Once a year I was given the innards of an
organically raised pig by people who didn't know what they were missing. Once a
year I bought ham ends and bacon trimmings from Harrington's of Vermont, whose
ham ends and bacon trimmings I use to this day. Once a year I bought spices and
vanilla beans. Now and then I'd walk two miles down the street to a fish store
on a dock in a defunct oyster bay and buy some fish. Now and then I'd buy some
lamb shanks. Mostly I lived on what I grew. I had great success with corn, cabbage, green beans, both American and Alpine
strawberries, chard, mustard greens, and every kind of lettuce. I grew potatoes
under mulch hay: buried treasure. My herbs were wonderful, both the annuals and
the perennials. I heeded the warning to grow mint only in containers, so that it
wouldn't take over the garden. I never succeeded in growing sweet peppers, but
my hot peppers thrived. According to the state agricultural extension, over the
course of the five years I lived there, I improved my garden soil from "loamy
sand" to "sandy loam," great for carrots, radishes, turnips, rutabagas, beets,
burdock, and parsnips. Like other gardeners, I was way ahead of the curve on
exotic vegetables. I was eating arugula and sorrel years before they became
restaurant clichés I grew mâche years before you could buy it in a sterile
plastic bag at Whole Foods. I did hand to hand battle with tomato hornworms,
gleefully dropping them into mason jars of running alcohol, and I waged an
unequal war against cabbage moths. I didn't can. I have never canned and never will; carelessness in canning leads
straight to botulism, and botulism leads to death. I had a 17 cubic foot
Hotpoint chest freezer and kept records of what went in and out; once a year I
composted the mystery packages that seemed to appear in the freezer by
spontaneous generation. I made refrigerator pickles and refrigerator jam. The
pickles were usually excellent; the jam was usually faulty — loose or seized up
or scorched — but delicious anyway. I gathered ideas for preserving food from
every possible source, some of which I use even now, when the fruits and
vegetables grow in someone else's garden or on someone else's farm. Plum
tomatoes cook down and down and down to make the glistening, intense tomato
paste Sicilians call strattu. Apples cook down and down and down to make
applesauce; most people have never tasted real applesauce, applesauce made only
from apples. It's a revelation to them. Zucchini grated and squeezed dry in
cheesecloth à la Julia Child freezes perfectly and makes a superb gratin with
cream and cheese and breadcrumbs; no one can ever figure out what it is. Organic
pork liver and fat with bay leaf and black pepper make a pâté as good as any you
will ever taste. The season for quinces is woefully short, so I treat quinces as
I used to treat my plums, quartering and steaming them and freezing them in
plastic bags. I haven't lived alone for any long period of time since I was 17, which
surprises me because I love being alone, but obviously I've preferred balancing
solitude with family almost every day. My first husband was famously sociable.
The first seven years of our marriage we didn't have a phone, so I learned
always to cook enough to accommodate two or three guests he had invited during
the day. (I invited people too, not so many and not so frequently.) During one
year in which I kept track we had company to supper two nights out of every
three. Some people came back often enough to be influences on my cooking, either
because of their likes and dislikes or because they encouraged me to experiment
and perfect dishes they ate again and again at my table. In my second marriage,
we have people over every two or three weeks. Only recently have I learned that
my second husband doesn't like large supper parties. I've stopped engineering
them; when we have company, it's only a few people. Perhaps because we do it
less often, we're more keyed up at having company, and I find myself now and
then making the kinds of mistakes I avoided when I was younger — planning too
many things all to be finished at the same time, cooking too many dishes or so
that the meal loses its shape. It saddens me to realize how many of my kitchen
failures have resulted from trying to show off. I have given only two large
standing up parties in my life; when I have people over, it's to sit down at my
table. I have only one good cook in my family background, my German grandmother. She
was a professional pastry baker, so she usually brought baked goods home from
the bakery rather than making them at home. The memory of a particular kind of
tea cookie flavored with almond extract and decorated with a swirl of bright
blue sugar brings a smile to my face just from thinking about it. But it's no
madeline; unlike Proust, I know how to make my memory cookie. My grandmother had
a repertoire of maybe thirty dishes at most, supplemented by plain cooked
vegetables with butter, salt, and pepper. But in her own right she was something
of an adventurous cook. She lived in the Hill neighborhood (at that time called
Wop Hill) in St. Louis and learned to make ravioli and spaghetti from her
neighbors, as well as a Czech pork and apple dish from another baker at work. My
grandfather kept a vast, impeccable garden in his back yard and behind that in a
vacant lot. Chickens for some reason were not a success, but his rabbits went
forth and multiplied. We had rabbit once or twice a week, fried, stewed, or made
into soup. Grandma's family converted en masse to Catholicism when my father was
twelve, and in those days Catholic means fish on Friday, canned salmon, canned
tuna, canned sprats. Fresh fish appeared on the menu on the weekend, when my
grandfather had time to exhibit his prowess as a fisherman. I've been fortunate in having friends who not only fed me but explained their
cooking to me. A bohemian couple in Chicago in the early 1960s had a recipe
published in Gourmet magazine's contributions from readers; I still make their
Alsatian sauerkraut with apples. A rather intimidating fellow in Boston who had
two kitchens, one for French, the other for Chinese, introduced me to squid and
taught me how to pick over blueberries. Returned Peace Corps volunteers
introduced me to African foodways and taught me about yams and millet (love
yams, hate millet). I exchanged leftovers and cooking tips for years with a
Pakistani American family who lived next door. I learned from them about Muslim
traditions, and although my family is atheist we dug up various lesser known
Christian holidays and feasts so as to be able to share them. I think it's safe
to say that we were the only ecumenical gathering ever to celebrate both the
breaking of the Ramadan fast and Saint Denis's Day (October 9, the traditional
day for making fruitcake to be consumed at Christmas). Treasured friends here in
Seattle introduced me to Alice Medrich, Ina Garten, and Jamie Oliver. Is there a
better gift than the name of a good cookbook author? Not to me. Long before blogs and text messaging, there was a form of underground
communication known as the chain letter. When you received a chain letter, you
were supposed to add to it and send it on to five other people. Chain letters
were illegal because they threatened to overwhelm the postal system with junk.
(This was before the postal system was, well, overwhelmed with junk.) Thanks to
friends and neighbors, I participated in many a recipe chain letter, an even
better way to take the pulse of the American vernacular kitchen than
compilations from church groups and day care centers. My husband (the second one) cooks by the book and has helped me see why that's
sometimes an excellent strategy. I used to get mad at him for never remembering
anything I had cooked, even if it was only a week ago. Only after I started
keeping a detailed food journal did I realize of course he can't remember; I
can't even remember. My sister loathes and fears cooking and yet tried for decades to find a way to
cook. Conversations with her about what to cook, how to cook, when to cook, why
to cook, have been more important to my thinking about living in the kitchen
than a thousand exchanges with fellow enthusiasts. My daughter started in as kitchen help when she was too short to see the top of
the kitchen table, and she came to maturity as a cook long before she was a
grownup in other ways. Even in the worst of our times together we've been able
to talk kitchen table talk. After working as a caterer for several years, she
knows things about cooking I'll never learn. She's gone from being my student in
the kitchen to being my peer. The chance now to work on our website together
wakes me up in the morning and puts me to bed at night. And soon my grandson
will be making salad dressing and scrambled eggs (has to work a bit on the hand
eye thing first). I've been lucky to have inexpensive restaurants to patronize and learn from,
Mexican in Chicago, delicatessen in Boston, pizza in New Haven, Thai in and
around Palo Alto, Pakistani in Yorkshire, Algerian and Vietnamese in Paris,
Italian in Italy. Eating in those restaurants and then leaving them behind and
trying to recreate their dishes from memory has been a way of educating my
palate. Seattle's Ethiopian and Malaysian and Korean restaurants would mark my
cooking if I moved away, but I'm not moving. It took me a long time to catch on to cooking shows on television, but lately
I've been enjoying them and learning from them. Carlo Middione picked up a green
bean, sliced off the stem end, looked soulfully at the other end, and said, "Why
would anyone want to cut off the tail of a green bean? It's a beautiful, natural
part of the bean." My prep time for beans got cut in half from that moment on. I
think of Nigella Lawson every time I struggle to scrape out the last fleck of
parsley or shake out the last droplet of olive oil. Would Nigella waste her time
on a fleck of parsley or a droplet of olive oil? She would not. She lives
lavishly. Stop winkling. I've had a struggle with my weight for going on twenty years; I understand it's
typical that I lose, then slip back into bad habits, gaining it all back and
then some. I used to say I might be fat but at least it was all cream and butter
and ham; these days, I'd have to say I might be fat but it's all wheat berries
and soy milk and omega- 3s, which sounds pretty pitiful. I hope working on this
book will help me. It's embarrassing to say oh, I cook this way and that way and
look, it's ended up with me forty pounds overweight. Time will tell. These are the life strands that come together in my cooking. Working at home,
working in the kitchen, keeping warm by the stove, gardening, being (as you will
have gathered) often enough short of cash to make thrift a necessity without
being truly trapped in poverty, cooking for myself and others, meals and
conversations about food at other people's tables, some real travel, some
armchair travel, the desire to achieve and maintain a healthy weight — these are
the reasons I've grappled with the cookbooks I've used, the books that this book
is about. I've read and understood their recipes and then wrenched them into the
shape of my life; I hope you will too. |