9 January 2008 re: hash

m-c:

I read a funny piece in Slate by Jill Hunter Pellettieri about the insanity of trying to turn turkey leftovers into elaborately disguised "made-overs," a topic you see worried half to death in food journalism during the holiday season.

Jill plumps for turkey sandwiches, and I'm with her on that. She decries outlandish creations like turkey samosas and turkey pho, and again I agree 100%.

mb:

But ... ?

m-c:

But she includes turkey hash in her list of hateful re-purposings of the holiday bird.

mb:

No! She's undoubtedly never tasted turkey hash like the one you make.

m-c:

That's what I thought you'd say.

What she doesn't understand is that the true centerpiece of the Thanksgiving meal is not turkey but turkey gravy. And the highest use to which one can put turkey gravy is turkey hash. Turkey gravy is good on mashed potatoes, it's good on cornbread stuffing, it's good on an open-face hot turkey sandwich. But only as a component of turkey hash can turkey gravy assume its full greatness.

mb:

So will you please tell us how to make turkey hash?

m-c:

I thought you'd never ask.

You dice up raw potatoes (Irish or sweet), cooked meat, a member or two from the onion family, and, if you desire, another vegetable for flavoring, such as celery or green bell pepper or kohlrabi.

Then you bind the mixture with the gravy and fry it in an appropriate lipid till the potatoes are cooked through.

And that is hash.

mb:

What about binding the mixture with an egg or two?

m-c:

That's a frittata, also a worthy dish, but not hash.

mb:

How about using cooked potatoes?

m-c:

Definitely still hash, but not my hash. Do you remember when you were a little girl you'd be humiliated by my saying that something in a restaurant was not as good as my version?

mb:

Don't remind me.

m-c:

Oh, Darwin will find something you do humiliating -- if not that, something else.

mb:

Is there anything more to be said about hash?

m-c:

Jill says nobody asks for turkey leftover dishes the rest of the year. But hash is good for lots of things besides turkey. Roast beef hash with green bell peppers, chicken hash with sweet potatoes and cumin, corned beef hash with tiny bits of fresh cabbage. And don't forget fish hash, which you make by frying all the other ingredients till they're done and then mix in the diced raw fish, which cooks instantly.

People from St. Louis (where I'm from) tell the story of the Irish cook or the German cook or the Black cook who says, "When I */throw/* myself into my hash, that's hash." Rendered in the appropriate eye dialect: "Whin I thee-rows mesel'." "Ven I drows mizelluf." "When Ah frows mahself."

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